So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize