Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
50% drunk capacity currently
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
