I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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