I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
