Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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