I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
