Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
