yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
