did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
