just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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