Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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