Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
