The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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