I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
