so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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