Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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