She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
