I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
