Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
