The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
