Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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