I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I lost the right to judge tonight
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
