i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Farmville is her only friend.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
