No, you can still breathe under the balls.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
