I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
