Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize