it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm eating all of the evidence.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just invented taco cereal.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
