is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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