omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
