the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
