after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
