Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
