PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
