remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
well you can't waste a boner
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
