Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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