i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize