yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just invented taco cereal.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
