im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
