just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize