So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
