its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
