you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
