I wanna passion pit in your ass
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
