She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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