just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
