You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
