At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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