i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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