you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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