You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
