Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This toilet bowl is my home.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
