i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
