i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
50% drunk capacity currently
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
