He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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