Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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