The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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