They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
